Did you know I once made the news...

Those of you that know me will know that I have had my moments on television and over the years I have appeared on a few shows including winning a BBC 1 game show and gatecrashing a rather famous Channel 4 reality show (more of that another day).

However one television appearance most people don't know about is that I once was featured on News At Ten. It is not a story I have told many people (for what will become obvious reasons).

You see it all started in Swindon at an office which is above the station. I was working on placement from university (now you can see that I have not mentioned this for almost twenty years!)


One evening I was working late, well I worked late every evening, not because of some desire to impress my bosses, but that I was staying in digs where, for £50 a week I had all meals and board. This did mean that the food quality could be variable (solid plates of packet 'Pasta 'n' Sauce' made on a Sunday and served on Wednesday - yummy!)


Anyway, there I was working late, Oh I had also had an affectation for good coffee and had bought myself a cafetiere (French Press if you are reading from overseas), now they are a great idea but  a pain to wash up - coffee grounds everywhere blocking the sink. And it was exactly that that happened, at the vital moment while I was rinsing my coffee pot I was called away by my boss.


Eager to please I went and we sorted out whatever problem there was and I completely forgot the sink where... I had left the tap running full blast. No, I don't know why I left it and walked away but I can assure you that I ran back when I finally did remember... about 20 minutes later.


So the coffee had blocked the plug-hole, the sink had filled and then so did the small kitchen and the corridor. I was in a panic, I immediately ripped off my tie (which as an annoying aside has last been worn by Bruce Foresyth - purchased at a charity auction.  Goodness only knows why!) and rushed to the cleaning cupboard and grabbed a mop.


Just as I was mopping the flood an angry person came into the corridor looking rather cross and asking (somewhat impolitely) what had happened. I had two options:


a) be honest, face his wrath and admit a stupid accident or
b) what I actually did


"Sorry mate, I am just the cleaner... Don't know what happened here!" - Okay, a small white lie but I thought I had got away with it. What I didn't realise (yet) was 

1. He had come from the floor below
2. This was the floor that was used by the Railtrack to locate a signalling computer
3. The architect of the building felt it was necessary to put air vents at floor level in the kitchen on the second floor
4. Computers don't like water showering them from a ceiling vent

So I mopped up and thought no more of it, other than having to explain flooding the office perhaps. When I finally got home and watched the news I saw that there had been 'Travel Chaos' with thousands of passengers stuck at Paddington station due to signalling problems in Swindon.

So I can only apologise, it was an honest mistake and I have worked to stay off the news since then!